A = reward?

In the past we have really struggled with reward systems.  Not wanting to reward with food or other unhealthy prizes in the forefront of the struggle.  We also want our children to learn to behave in ways that they feel internal pride and achievement rather than worldly prizes.  We have rarely rewarded for grades, but this quarter we did not have to a lot follow up on homework and found the girls have really developed good homework habits. They all helped one another with homework and school projects.  After the results came in....we believed these gals deserved a reward!

All that being said we did some research and here is what we came up with this time around:

My dears,

Congratulations on making all A's on your report card this quarter! As a reward for your awesome achievement you all are invited to pick a show to watch in the evening in our bed!  You may choose to watch a movie if you all agree one on or you may each pick one TV show.

As a special bonus for you ALL making good grades and supporting one another. You will also receive 15 more minutes to stay up past your bedtime for the rest of October. So keep supporting one another! It's important to know that your sister will always be there for you.

Love you!

Mom & Dad

So yes, watching TV is a rare occasion and my gals love it! They were all very excited and pick their own shows.  Clare was very excited for the extension of bedtime.  We already have a rule that if she gets in her bed with a book by 8pm she can stay up until 8:45pm, rather than 8:30pm.  She said, "This is like DOUBLE COUPONS! If I get in bed by 8pm I get to stay up until 9pm.  

I'm on this parenting journey with you...I want to hear your thoughts on rewards for grades or other achievements.  

I am a runner

Beth & I at the finish line
Chicago 2009

Over the last 10 years I have been crossing the finish line of local 5K's and spent some time on marathon trail with my sister and my husband. I have held the hands of my friends and family as they have pursued running challenges. I have pushed athletes to their limits and enjoyed their successes along side them. I am a runner! Over my time on the road, I have learned a lot about myself and I have grown relationships with people in a unique way that only running has provided. I often reflect on my time on the road running when life gets messy. I use those challenges and successes I have experienced on the road to move through the mess and find success. The finish line can be life changing! The finish of the Chicago Marathon in 2009 was life changing for me. As I turned the corner towards the finish line for the event with my sister beside me and my family on the sidelines cheering me on my life changed. I hold that vision and that emotion with me and recall on that day often.  I hold that memory again today with my thoughts of the horrific event that happen yesterday at the Boston Marathon.  I am wearing my Chicago shirt today and will join other runners on the street today as we celebrate and honor all that it is running.  My heart is with my fellow runners and running fans in Boston. Today I will run to honor the athletes, their friends and family, the event staff and the emergency crews.

I have included some of my favorite running memory photos:

After finishing the mile at a time race in KC! Rudy was so proud!

The morning of St. Judes Marathon. Running for Gage and our brother Sam!

Justin finishing his first Triathlon!

It was an honor to run for Gage in the St. Judes Marathon

Running for Sadie Olson!

Finishing Jamie's first 5K holding hands!

A hug from my baby girl before the St. Judes race for good luck

Emily celebrated her 10th birthday with a 5K with her best pals

When the stomach flu stopped me from this half marathon, my  husband jump in and ran beside my sister.

Me and my gals coming in for Rudy and Clare first 5K finish

The first 5K for the Benton women as a group

My husband's marathon! It was a 100 degree day in April.  I was unable to finish due to heat, but he finished and carried my bib the entire way. Thankful for my family being there that helped me off the course.

Tradition continues!

ABC’s of Saving Money on Family Budgets

A is for attitude! If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right!

B is for breastfeeding. Where possible breastfeeding will save you money on formula, bottles & accessories.

C is for credit cards.  Pay off your balance when possible or choose cards with low interest rates.

D is for debt. Shopping around for a mortgage is worth it a good interest rate can make a huge difference.

E is for Ebay.  Sell and purchase used “baby” gear on ebay, craigslist or through social media.

F is for family.  Ask your family to get on board with you to support your financial plan.

G is for gifts.  Plan ahead for birthday and holiday gifts.  Put your talents to use and make gifts when you can.

H is for home-cooked. Take your lunch to work and make dinners at home.

I is for insurance. Plan for insurance needs for illness, accident, death, home and auto and shop around. 

J is for junk.  You can make homemade toys with “junk” from around your house.

K is for keeps.  Make financial plan and budget and keep with it. Do not make exceptions.

L is for love.  When you love something you take care of it.  Love your financial plan and take care of it.

M is for medical.  Take advantage of pre-tax opportunities through your employers. (cafeteria and HSA plans)

N is for negotiate. Don’t be afraid to negotiate prices on your purchases.

O is for options.  Look into different options for debt and financial growth. 

P is for paying.  Paying your bills on time can help you save on late fees and interest charges.

Q is for questions.  Ask a financial planner for help managing your expenses and investments.

R is for rates.  Monitor your credit card rates as they are subject to change.

S is for sales.  Just because something is on sale doesn’t mean you need it. 

T is for taxes.  Ask your tax professional for the best ways to save money on your taxes.

U is for utilities.  Turn off the lights when you are not using them.

V is for vested.  Stay with the same company long enough to be vested in the retirement plan.

W is for will.  Speak to an attorney about writing a will to provide a financial plan for your children.

X is for X.  Check off your debts as you pay them off and give yourself a pat on the back for working hard.

Y is for you.  You determine wants vs. needs for your family and make money choices based on your decision.

Z is for ZZZZZs.  When possible sleep on major financial decisions before acting.

This information is meant for entertainment purposes and general advice.  Financial planning best happens when looking at individual circumstances.  Please seek the advice of a financial professional before acting on this information.  

Products and books I have used for family financial planning:

The best is yet to come

My husband and I have a sign in our front entry that states "Grow old with me, the best is yet to come".  This has been a daily reminder for our family and has been proven true each day.
Today, I was humbled to be recognized in the category of "Favorite Miami Countian" in the Best of Miami County Survey.  Justin was recognized in the survey as well in the "Best Electrician" category.
 As I write this blog I cannot help but look back on the path Justin and I have been on and how true the sign in our entry has rang true to our story.  As Justin and I started our family and careers we worked hard to return to Miami County.  Justin dreamed of owning his own business as an electrical contractor and I dreamed of working with families and making a difference as an advocate.  
We are honored to be recognized in the survey and look forward to the days that are yet to come.

Photo of Mayor Artie Stuteville (1st place Favorite Miami Countian) and Callie Benton (2nd place Favorite Miami Countian)

There was a little girl, who had a little curl.......

................right in the middle of her forehead.  And when she was good, she was very, very good and when she was bad...........she was..........."What me bad, NEVER"-Emily Benton

Today we are celebrating 12 years of Emily!  What a journey this 12 years has been.  God bless the oldest child, whom I have got to practice all my parenting skills on.

The fall of my sophomore year at Kansas State University, Justin and I were surprised to be expecting Emily.  Being a student in Family Life and Community Service had personal advantages and Emily became a case study in many of my classes.  I took Doula training during my pregnancy and early childhood classes after she arrived.  My professors Kelly Welch, Dr. Webb, Tony Jurich, and Karen Myers-Bowman were great support to me as my journey as a parent began.  Tony use to find Emily and I in the hallways and sing and dance with her.  During my classes with Tony or Kelly you could find Emily in their arms as they delivered their lectures.   Dr. Webb and Karen spent a lot of time and energy into guiding me in a career path that I would be passionate and successful at.

During the end of my pregnancy I developed preclampsia and had to be on bed rest for 3 weeks.  We joked that Justin became an expert in UNO during this time as he challenged everyone who came to visit to a game of UNO.  My professors were all very understanding and allowed me to do my work from the hospital.  My family kept me entertained at the hospital by taking me for walks in the wheelchair and staging puppet shows with rubber gloves.

On May 1, 2000, Dr. Khoury told me that I had developed a dangerous level of toxemia and I would need to deliver as soon as possible.  As I write this, I remember the fear I felt that day.  Everyone seem so scared and nervous.  The ultrasound was showing that Emily was under 4lbs and that her lungs were not developed, however the pregnancy was a danger to my life at this point and they felt confident she would be safer outside the womb.  We were told that Emily would be transported to Topeka after delivery to a neonatal unit.  Justin and I quickly came up with the plan for him to go to Topeka with Emily with our family to follow.  My dad would stay with me and try to get me released from the hospital as soon as possible to meet them in Topeka.  

Labor was textbook.  I quickly went through every stage of labor and in transition became the crazy person you see on TV.  Justin and my sister Annie questioned me and offered support until I finally told them the Beach Boys song "Kokomo" was stuck in my head and driving me crazy.  And what seemed like perfect harmony the two of them began to sing "To Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama Key Largo, Montego baby why don't we go 

Down to Kokomo We'll get there fast And then we'll take it slow That's where we wanna go Way down to Kokomo"

The delivery room was full when Emily made her entrance into the world at 3:59 pm weighing 5lb 12oz with a healthy set of screaming lungs.  No helicopter ride to Topeka!   The family lined up to meet and hold the newest member to our family. 

Today, 12 years later she is still surpassing expectations of herself.  She recently spoke at a Women's Organization about herself.  She spoke with grace and confidence about the importance of women and the roles we play to contribute to society.  In the past year she has achieved great reward for her efforts in academic and athletic efforts.  However, as her mother, I can speak to the truth of her greatest accomplishment is her ability to motivate others to achieve their absolute potential.  At the age of 12, Emily Benton is changing the world and blazing the path for young women. "I may be small and you may not notice me, but I can make a difference, I can change the world"-Emily Benton  Do not let her quiet nature fool you, she is up to big things.

A mighty flame followeth a tiny spark. 

-Dante Aligheiri

Respond: not react

My interest in government and advocacy has always been high.  In the last two years, I have become more involved as an advocate which fed my desire to serve as an elected official. This week I  announced my intention to run for Miami County District 2 County Commissioner and I am very excited about this opportunity.  The response has been positive from our community and I am looking forward to this campaign.  I have appreciated hearing from community members offering their support and sharing their concerns with me.

So why District 2? Didn't Roberts vote for Title X? Are you running because of the controversy over birth control?  I would like to take this opportunity to clear up these misconceptions.

1. I am running in District 2 because that is where I live.  I cannot decide to run in a district in which I do not live, but I do believe it is important to be connected with our community.  
2. Rob Roberts did vote in favor of applying for Title X.  Within the commission Mr. Roberts did speak up and support the importance of keeping Title X funding in Miami County. As a concerned citizen, I reached out to other community members and asked them to support a movement to let the commission know the importance of Title X.  I have also been in contact with Gov. Brownback and requested his support in getting Title X funding back in Miami County.  
3. I am not running for office as a reaction.  As an advocate I believe in the importance of being proactive and operating in a collaborative way.  Within the Miami County Commission too many decisions are made as reactions to our state and local legislation rather than working with higher levels of government to let them know how their legislation affects us here in Miami County Kansas.  I am running for office because I believe my skills would be of good service to our community.

Paid for by:Committee to Elect Callie

I know how I do it

My dear friend, Christy Dreiling, recommended the movie "I don't know how she does it" to me recently. This is a must see for all mothers who work outside the home. I will give a disclaimer that I do not support the view that women who stay home with their children full-time do not work. (It is mildly suggested in this film as a strike of humor) The support of some of my friends that are stay at home mothers is part of "how I do it".

 As women we are held to a very high standard in society. We must show that our children are perfect and our careers are to run smoothly beside a clean home and well manicured lawn. I would also argue that we must show some struggle, some battle wounds, some proof that our situation wasn't just handed to us. These ideas are confusing to me and I cannot locate the source. Is this an idea that we as women have put on ourselves? Do we compete to prove ourselves and in turn make others feel the guilt of not maintaining the perfect working female balance?

 I guess my bottom line statement is, "I do know how I do it". As you see in the movie, it is a constant juggle. But this juggle is something I enjoy. I work hard to maintain a career that I love and a happy family. I have a story of how I got to where I am today, but it doesn't hold a tale of struggle.  It is a tale of encouragement and hard work ethic that my parents taught me.    I am passionate about learning new skills and ideas. I love my life, as fast paced and wild as it may seem, it has balance and happiness from many realms of life that all work together to make me who I am. My kids are busy and so are my husband and I. Therefore I cannot take complete credit for them doing so good for as busy as they are. My kids live in a family and a community that cares for them and supports them. This is a key tool for "how I do it". As for my juggling act; I hope I'm not making it look too easy. Being a working mother is not easy. But being a mother of any kind is not easy. The thing is, mothering is not a competition. So as women lets stop competing, and start building one another up.

I love my children, my husband, my friends and family! Thank you for all you do to support my juggling act.

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.  ~Lisa Alther