Respond: not react

My interest in government and advocacy has always been high.  In the last two years, I have become more involved as an advocate which fed my desire to serve as an elected official. This week I  announced my intention to run for Miami County District 2 County Commissioner and I am very excited about this opportunity.  The response has been positive from our community and I am looking forward to this campaign.  I have appreciated hearing from community members offering their support and sharing their concerns with me.

So why District 2? Didn't Roberts vote for Title X? Are you running because of the controversy over birth control?  I would like to take this opportunity to clear up these misconceptions.

1. I am running in District 2 because that is where I live.  I cannot decide to run in a district in which I do not live, but I do believe it is important to be connected with our community.  
2. Rob Roberts did vote in favor of applying for Title X.  Within the commission Mr. Roberts did speak up and support the importance of keeping Title X funding in Miami County. As a concerned citizen, I reached out to other community members and asked them to support a movement to let the commission know the importance of Title X.  I have also been in contact with Gov. Brownback and requested his support in getting Title X funding back in Miami County.  
3. I am not running for office as a reaction.  As an advocate I believe in the importance of being proactive and operating in a collaborative way.  Within the Miami County Commission too many decisions are made as reactions to our state and local legislation rather than working with higher levels of government to let them know how their legislation affects us here in Miami County Kansas.  I am running for office because I believe my skills would be of good service to our community.

Paid for by:Committee to Elect Callie

I know how I do it

My dear friend, Christy Dreiling, recommended the movie "I don't know how she does it" to me recently. This is a must see for all mothers who work outside the home. I will give a disclaimer that I do not support the view that women who stay home with their children full-time do not work. (It is mildly suggested in this film as a strike of humor) The support of some of my friends that are stay at home mothers is part of "how I do it".

 As women we are held to a very high standard in society. We must show that our children are perfect and our careers are to run smoothly beside a clean home and well manicured lawn. I would also argue that we must show some struggle, some battle wounds, some proof that our situation wasn't just handed to us. These ideas are confusing to me and I cannot locate the source. Is this an idea that we as women have put on ourselves? Do we compete to prove ourselves and in turn make others feel the guilt of not maintaining the perfect working female balance?

 I guess my bottom line statement is, "I do know how I do it". As you see in the movie, it is a constant juggle. But this juggle is something I enjoy. I work hard to maintain a career that I love and a happy family. I have a story of how I got to where I am today, but it doesn't hold a tale of struggle.  It is a tale of encouragement and hard work ethic that my parents taught me.    I am passionate about learning new skills and ideas. I love my life, as fast paced and wild as it may seem, it has balance and happiness from many realms of life that all work together to make me who I am. My kids are busy and so are my husband and I. Therefore I cannot take complete credit for them doing so good for as busy as they are. My kids live in a family and a community that cares for them and supports them. This is a key tool for "how I do it". As for my juggling act; I hope I'm not making it look too easy. Being a working mother is not easy. But being a mother of any kind is not easy. The thing is, mothering is not a competition. So as women lets stop competing, and start building one another up.

I love my children, my husband, my friends and family! Thank you for all you do to support my juggling act.

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.  ~Lisa Alther

Domestic Engineer Resignation

To my amazing and beautiful daughters,
Please accept this letter of resignation for my position as Domestic Engineer with the Benton Household. This decision was a difficult one for me as I spent much of my childhood daydreaming of being a mother and housewife. I have enjoyed my time cooking, cleaning, and mending but my heart is leading me to another position. I have truly enjoyed my time in this position and I hope you will consider me on days you may need help. I appreciate the support you have given me and the great example you have shown me. I hope that we can continue to work together in the future.
Love,
Mom

"Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward." Patricia Sampson

At the beginning of this Lent season my family and I established the goal to become more self sufficient. We have spent a lot of time through out Lent talking about and establishing ways that we can take care of ourselves and not leave work for other people to tend to. Most of these ideas have been centered around household happiness. (such as doing your own laundry, putting away your dishes and getting ready for school independently) Some of the skills were mastered with ease, while others have been more difficult. If you see my children wearing the same clothing a couple times in a short period of time you will see which task they dislike the most. The goal of teaching these skills was not to have me do less. (an added bonus for sure) The goal was teaching my daughters to be proud of themselves and to take pride in knowing they can be self reliant.

"A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self." Charles Dickens

In teaching my girls independence I wanted to be sure they did not become too self-focused. While it is important they do for themselves, it is essential they care for one another and others as well. They became frustrated and even angry at times with trying new skills and with finding another family member in their path of learning. It was little things like moving someones laundry to the dryer when you need to put your clothes in the washer or getting someone a drink of water when you are getting yourself one that are challenging processes to learn. I often tell parents my "oxygen mask theory" is essential in maintaining family balance. When you ride on any major airline they inform you to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting those around you. This is to ensure that you do not loose your oxygen supply before you are done caring for others. I want my girls to understand and practice using this theory. The great thing about this theory is that in taking care of yourself, you are better equipped then to care for others.

I recently read a quote that really spoke to me as a parent and motivated me to be for thoughtful in my parenting and less reactive. The quote read, "I didn't grow up, I was raised". I do not want my children to just mature and go through the steps of life. I want to raise them! I want to look back on their childhood and think that I shared with them the messages and lessons I value in a person. Step one was self sufficiency and we have one week to go in my plan. Step two is hard work! I want my children to understand and respect the value of hard work.

Share your thoughts with me. Justin and I are still developing our timeline and plan for raising children who value hard work and are self sufficient.

You can call me names if you want to.

I took time when I decided to stand up for women in Miami County to explain to my daughters what I was fighting for. At the ages of 9 and 11 they do not understand it all, but I hope they know someday that I was standing up for them.

My youngest (and most outspoken) daughter let me know that some adults made comments to her yesterday while she was in a local restaurant about her mother being in the paper. My oldest daughter received text messages from friends wanting to know why I was protesting. I gave my daughters the guidance that if they were asked why I was on TV or in the newspaper they are to tell them to talk to me. My daughters have a voice! However, do not bring your adults battles on them. My inbox on facebook has been full since this issue came to light with both people who are concerned and those who disagree with me. I have made my best attempt to respond to each and every email promptly. I have tried to contact those who sent me messages disagreeing with me via phone to try and get an understanding. Because I do want to understand where the thought process is coming from.

In short, I lost yesterday. I stood up for what I believed in and the commission voted the other way. As I said when I stood up, I respect the men for the position they are in, but I disagree on this issue of denying the grant. I am for fairness! I am for what is best for all citizens of our community.

While I was at the meeting my youngest daughter heard someone call me a socialist. In her 9 year old mind, she thought, "sure my mom has a lot friends". In a phone call last evening I was referred to as a "liberal socialist". And in response, I will say this.........you can call me names if you want to, but I would rather you have a conversation with me to explain your viewpoint. Liberal and Socialist are some of the nicer names I have been called this week and I will not write up the rest of the terms used. I understand that people are passionate and emotional over this issue and I can take the name calling, but I hope we can then move forward and work together.

I am not shocked nor offended that there is another view on this issue of birth control. So if you are using this to define me as a liberal you are off base. I asked several times for people who disagreed with me to explain there view. I only had one individual willing to speak openly with me and agree to work forward to the common good. Mike Dixon and I will never agree on this issue, however Mike I am holding you to your word that you will be working hard in the community as you promised to serve our community in response to the loss of $32,000 to the health department.

I work in a field where I see young women thriving and I also see young women struggling. It is my goal to empower them all the be the best mother, wife and woman they can be. I do not give up on people, because I believe in the greater good of the human population. I will not apologize for taking a stand. I believe it was irresponsible to loose an entire grant based on a $9000 opinion.

I Want To Be An Advocate.............

"I want to be an advocate for people who don't have time to read the news.......or the money for political corruption."



Last Tuesday I received a phone call from a friend informing me that the Miami County Kansas County Commissioners passed a vote to not apply for a section of the Health Department grant. They voted to not include a $9,000 proposal for birth control pills. The vote was 3 against 2. The three that favored the exclusion were George Pretz, Jim Wise and Danny Gallagher.

I was outraged. (well, honestly I'm still outraged!) Here we are in 2012 fighting for women's rights again and in my front yard!

There is a large outcry from my community. I have always been proud to be a member of a community that cares and encourages one another. This action shows just the opposite of a caring and encouraging community. My call to my community is, "How are we going to respond?"
It is not a question as to will we respond because we must. We must speak up as a community and let our Commission know that this decision is unacceptable.

I am in fear that we are too late. The grant has been turned in and we stand to loose the $9000 for birth control and the grant as a whole. The state has responded that they are unsure if they will grant any of the money requested because the grant was modified. So if the vote cannot be undone. If we loose the birth control pill funding what will our community do? We must become more involved and we must find a way to support the women and children that need this service.


Get involved! We cannot live in fear of offending our employers and friends. The world is moving so quickly (4G speed) and we must act quickly! No longer can we sit back and hope the powers that be will take care of us. We must speak up as a community.

Today at 1pm the County Commission will gather for their weekly meeting. The chambers will be full with concerned (and some supporting) citizens. We will all get a chance to speak our peace (for 5 min). No action will be taken, no response will be given. Because while the commissioners know this is a concern, they have not placed it on their agenda.

I will be asking the commission today to respond and to take action. George Pretz is quoted in the paper saying he does not believe that tax payers money should be used for a private issue such as birth control. And while I completely disagree with him, I challenge him to explain why the Miami County Employees and Commission are eligible to participate in a health insurance plan which offers birth control pills! It is my tax dollars that pay for this plan. While we disagree on the issue, it is my hope that we can agree on fairness for all and this is not fair treatment.

The tax dollars we spent to support the Title X funding to the health department will still be paid by our community. The money will be reallocated somewhere else.

Be mindful and take action.

Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

When I read this quote online earlier today, my brain came up with the image of my father's hand comforting me so many times. The most touching example was the birth of my oldest daughter. In all my fear and pain of labor my father, Ron Hohenstein, comforted me with his hand letting me know that he will never let anything bad happen to me. I have been blessed with an amazing set of parents that have supported me and encouraged me through out my life.

This is "Gramps" at my girls Ironkids National Championship race. The comfort of his hands has been passed on. (the baby bump is my youngest daughter Clare trying to stay warm)

My dad has always had a chair in the house that he relaxes in. The chair is a coveted place in the home. As children, my siblings and I would sit in the chair in anticipation of our dad's homecoming. And now my children will climb into the chair when Gramps is outside in anticipation that when he returns he will hold them on his lap.

As a mother, I always want to be a comfort to my children and guide them to meet their dreams. When my husband walks into the room I see the love and admiration in their eyes that I have for my dad and I am so thankful to know they will have the comfort in life that I have had. My husband is the strong hold for my girls. His love and attention can cure their heartache, disappointment and worry with hast.

As my dad will tell you, this little girl still calls her dad with heartache, disappointment and worry. (oh yeah and editing my documents...........remember this is a blog Gramps, go easy on me)

Please check out this great blog I found on dads of daughers
http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters

This is the week

9 years ago this week was a BIG week for me. I myself was really BIG being 40 weeks pregnant with twin girls. I have been doing a lot of reflecting this week about the 9 years I have been blessed with Rudy and Clare. So here is the story, the story every mother loves to tell, the story of how these amazing girls got here.

The day I discovered I was pregnant, Justin was helping my brother Bart put a new roof on his house. Emily and I traveled to his lake house and I whispered in Justin's ear that I was pregnant. He replied out loud, "You are? You are pregnant?" And that's how we told the family. :)

2 weeks later, Justin, Annie and I went to my first sonogram at 8 weeks pregnant. The doctor did the sonogram with no sound and then excused himself from the room and said he was going to get the nurse. My heart sank, I believed that I must have miscarried the pregnancy and he was getting support to tell me. The doctor and the nurse looked at the sonogram for a time together and then the nurse starting giggling and said, "yep, I think you are right..............it's twins!" Justin cheered with excitement and pride that we were having twins. I laid back in fear of how will I take care of two babies and 2 1/2 year old! On the car ride home my sister, Annie called my mom, Justin called his mom and I called my Papa. My Papa was excited and claimed that he assumed it was his fault since he was a twin. After that appointment our families moved into to full support mode in preparation for bringing two babies into the family. We were in the middle of remodeling our first home and brand new jobs, so we were very thankful for the support. Our parents and siblings put in construction labor, shopping, cleaning, cooking hours most weekends. My Papa called and emailed often to check on how I was feeling and to tell me funny stories. He often ended emails by telling me that my grandma and himself were praying for me. My pregnancy was enjoyable with all the support I received. The last weeks of my pregnancy were physically difficult, but not unbearable until the day before the gals were born. I was 40+ weeks pregnant and the weight of twins was very difficult to carry around. I barely fit in a car to drive as my stomach almost reached my knees. After a phone call from my Papa one day where I complained of aches and pains and the fear of delivering two babies, he sent me the following email:

Callie Sorrry your so uncomfortable, remember my mother
had twins without the benifits of modern medicine,and then deliviry at
home. I think about you every day,.Rita and I are praying for you. Love
Grandpa

On February 10, 2003 I went into for my regular check up with my doctor at 10am and I begged him to "get these babies out" I had been very outspoken about wanting to deliver them naturally, but I told him that day that I didn't care......I just want them out. He smiled at me and said, "I think you must be in labor if you are talking like that" He did a quick sonogram to check the position of the babies and thankfully they had both turned head down and I WAS IN LABOR! FINALLY!

Justin had went to work that morning so I called him and told him that he should go home and help Emily get a nap and then head over to the hospital. I explained that I wasn't really in pain yet, so it was going to be awhile. I planned to take a nap myself.

20 minutes later, there stood Justin and Emily with big smiles on their faces. He was too excited to sleep! And 9 years later, he is still too excited to sleep.

All of our family trickled in. Within a few hours we had a room packed with people and soon after most of them arrived I was wheeled away to the operating room. It was a good thing just decided to skip the nap!

Hospital policy was that multiple births must be delivered in the operating room in case they need to do surgery. (I was a little sad because I wanted to share the experience with my family and only one person could be with me in the OR)

Baby A (Rudy Anna Benton) was born at 4:39pm I requested a break and then 7 minutes later Baby B (Clare Gene Benton was born at 4:46pm.

We quickly requested to go back to the regular room to introduce Emily to her new little sisters. The room quickly filled back up with family excited to finally meet our new baby girls. After one night in the hospital we were ready to take our babies home and loaded them up. We were greeted at home with a house full of family ready to help us.

The early years of their lives were difficult to meet all their needs alone, so our family members were always close by to offer support. If one kid was sick, all three were sick. We had hospital stays for flu and chronic ear infections that are all a blur now. We got through them all because we have such an amazing family that supported us.

We moved to Paola the fall that Rudy and Clare were 3. We moved into house behind my Papa and just minutes away from both of our parents. I am very grateful for all the memories my girls have with my Papa. Shortly before we moved back to Paola my Papa sent me this email:

Thanks for the pictures, I to am happy that Clare is well,
They are growing into very nice looking gals Grandpa

I am missing him a lot this week as I think of all the memories we shared with him and all the advice and support he gave us.

This Friday my baby girls will turn 9 and while it is hard for me to not be sad that they are growing up too fast, I am thrilled to think of what amazing young women they are. And I take comfort in knowing "THE BEST IS YET TO COME!"