Domestic Engineer Resignation

To my amazing and beautiful daughters,
Please accept this letter of resignation for my position as Domestic Engineer with the Benton Household. This decision was a difficult one for me as I spent much of my childhood daydreaming of being a mother and housewife. I have enjoyed my time cooking, cleaning, and mending but my heart is leading me to another position. I have truly enjoyed my time in this position and I hope you will consider me on days you may need help. I appreciate the support you have given me and the great example you have shown me. I hope that we can continue to work together in the future.
Love,
Mom

"Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward." Patricia Sampson

At the beginning of this Lent season my family and I established the goal to become more self sufficient. We have spent a lot of time through out Lent talking about and establishing ways that we can take care of ourselves and not leave work for other people to tend to. Most of these ideas have been centered around household happiness. (such as doing your own laundry, putting away your dishes and getting ready for school independently) Some of the skills were mastered with ease, while others have been more difficult. If you see my children wearing the same clothing a couple times in a short period of time you will see which task they dislike the most. The goal of teaching these skills was not to have me do less. (an added bonus for sure) The goal was teaching my daughters to be proud of themselves and to take pride in knowing they can be self reliant.

"A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self." Charles Dickens

In teaching my girls independence I wanted to be sure they did not become too self-focused. While it is important they do for themselves, it is essential they care for one another and others as well. They became frustrated and even angry at times with trying new skills and with finding another family member in their path of learning. It was little things like moving someones laundry to the dryer when you need to put your clothes in the washer or getting someone a drink of water when you are getting yourself one that are challenging processes to learn. I often tell parents my "oxygen mask theory" is essential in maintaining family balance. When you ride on any major airline they inform you to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting those around you. This is to ensure that you do not loose your oxygen supply before you are done caring for others. I want my girls to understand and practice using this theory. The great thing about this theory is that in taking care of yourself, you are better equipped then to care for others.

I recently read a quote that really spoke to me as a parent and motivated me to be for thoughtful in my parenting and less reactive. The quote read, "I didn't grow up, I was raised". I do not want my children to just mature and go through the steps of life. I want to raise them! I want to look back on their childhood and think that I shared with them the messages and lessons I value in a person. Step one was self sufficiency and we have one week to go in my plan. Step two is hard work! I want my children to understand and respect the value of hard work.

Share your thoughts with me. Justin and I are still developing our timeline and plan for raising children who value hard work and are self sufficient.

You can call me names if you want to.

I took time when I decided to stand up for women in Miami County to explain to my daughters what I was fighting for. At the ages of 9 and 11 they do not understand it all, but I hope they know someday that I was standing up for them.

My youngest (and most outspoken) daughter let me know that some adults made comments to her yesterday while she was in a local restaurant about her mother being in the paper. My oldest daughter received text messages from friends wanting to know why I was protesting. I gave my daughters the guidance that if they were asked why I was on TV or in the newspaper they are to tell them to talk to me. My daughters have a voice! However, do not bring your adults battles on them. My inbox on facebook has been full since this issue came to light with both people who are concerned and those who disagree with me. I have made my best attempt to respond to each and every email promptly. I have tried to contact those who sent me messages disagreeing with me via phone to try and get an understanding. Because I do want to understand where the thought process is coming from.

In short, I lost yesterday. I stood up for what I believed in and the commission voted the other way. As I said when I stood up, I respect the men for the position they are in, but I disagree on this issue of denying the grant. I am for fairness! I am for what is best for all citizens of our community.

While I was at the meeting my youngest daughter heard someone call me a socialist. In her 9 year old mind, she thought, "sure my mom has a lot friends". In a phone call last evening I was referred to as a "liberal socialist". And in response, I will say this.........you can call me names if you want to, but I would rather you have a conversation with me to explain your viewpoint. Liberal and Socialist are some of the nicer names I have been called this week and I will not write up the rest of the terms used. I understand that people are passionate and emotional over this issue and I can take the name calling, but I hope we can then move forward and work together.

I am not shocked nor offended that there is another view on this issue of birth control. So if you are using this to define me as a liberal you are off base. I asked several times for people who disagreed with me to explain there view. I only had one individual willing to speak openly with me and agree to work forward to the common good. Mike Dixon and I will never agree on this issue, however Mike I am holding you to your word that you will be working hard in the community as you promised to serve our community in response to the loss of $32,000 to the health department.

I work in a field where I see young women thriving and I also see young women struggling. It is my goal to empower them all the be the best mother, wife and woman they can be. I do not give up on people, because I believe in the greater good of the human population. I will not apologize for taking a stand. I believe it was irresponsible to loose an entire grant based on a $9000 opinion.

I Want To Be An Advocate.............

"I want to be an advocate for people who don't have time to read the news.......or the money for political corruption."



Last Tuesday I received a phone call from a friend informing me that the Miami County Kansas County Commissioners passed a vote to not apply for a section of the Health Department grant. They voted to not include a $9,000 proposal for birth control pills. The vote was 3 against 2. The three that favored the exclusion were George Pretz, Jim Wise and Danny Gallagher.

I was outraged. (well, honestly I'm still outraged!) Here we are in 2012 fighting for women's rights again and in my front yard!

There is a large outcry from my community. I have always been proud to be a member of a community that cares and encourages one another. This action shows just the opposite of a caring and encouraging community. My call to my community is, "How are we going to respond?"
It is not a question as to will we respond because we must. We must speak up as a community and let our Commission know that this decision is unacceptable.

I am in fear that we are too late. The grant has been turned in and we stand to loose the $9000 for birth control and the grant as a whole. The state has responded that they are unsure if they will grant any of the money requested because the grant was modified. So if the vote cannot be undone. If we loose the birth control pill funding what will our community do? We must become more involved and we must find a way to support the women and children that need this service.


Get involved! We cannot live in fear of offending our employers and friends. The world is moving so quickly (4G speed) and we must act quickly! No longer can we sit back and hope the powers that be will take care of us. We must speak up as a community.

Today at 1pm the County Commission will gather for their weekly meeting. The chambers will be full with concerned (and some supporting) citizens. We will all get a chance to speak our peace (for 5 min). No action will be taken, no response will be given. Because while the commissioners know this is a concern, they have not placed it on their agenda.

I will be asking the commission today to respond and to take action. George Pretz is quoted in the paper saying he does not believe that tax payers money should be used for a private issue such as birth control. And while I completely disagree with him, I challenge him to explain why the Miami County Employees and Commission are eligible to participate in a health insurance plan which offers birth control pills! It is my tax dollars that pay for this plan. While we disagree on the issue, it is my hope that we can agree on fairness for all and this is not fair treatment.

The tax dollars we spent to support the Title X funding to the health department will still be paid by our community. The money will be reallocated somewhere else.

Be mindful and take action.

Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

When I read this quote online earlier today, my brain came up with the image of my father's hand comforting me so many times. The most touching example was the birth of my oldest daughter. In all my fear and pain of labor my father, Ron Hohenstein, comforted me with his hand letting me know that he will never let anything bad happen to me. I have been blessed with an amazing set of parents that have supported me and encouraged me through out my life.

This is "Gramps" at my girls Ironkids National Championship race. The comfort of his hands has been passed on. (the baby bump is my youngest daughter Clare trying to stay warm)

My dad has always had a chair in the house that he relaxes in. The chair is a coveted place in the home. As children, my siblings and I would sit in the chair in anticipation of our dad's homecoming. And now my children will climb into the chair when Gramps is outside in anticipation that when he returns he will hold them on his lap.

As a mother, I always want to be a comfort to my children and guide them to meet their dreams. When my husband walks into the room I see the love and admiration in their eyes that I have for my dad and I am so thankful to know they will have the comfort in life that I have had. My husband is the strong hold for my girls. His love and attention can cure their heartache, disappointment and worry with hast.

As my dad will tell you, this little girl still calls her dad with heartache, disappointment and worry. (oh yeah and editing my documents...........remember this is a blog Gramps, go easy on me)

Please check out this great blog I found on dads of daughers
http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters