Domestic Engineer Resignation

To my amazing and beautiful daughters,
Please accept this letter of resignation for my position as Domestic Engineer with the Benton Household. This decision was a difficult one for me as I spent much of my childhood daydreaming of being a mother and housewife. I have enjoyed my time cooking, cleaning, and mending but my heart is leading me to another position. I have truly enjoyed my time in this position and I hope you will consider me on days you may need help. I appreciate the support you have given me and the great example you have shown me. I hope that we can continue to work together in the future.
Love,
Mom

"Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward." Patricia Sampson

At the beginning of this Lent season my family and I established the goal to become more self sufficient. We have spent a lot of time through out Lent talking about and establishing ways that we can take care of ourselves and not leave work for other people to tend to. Most of these ideas have been centered around household happiness. (such as doing your own laundry, putting away your dishes and getting ready for school independently) Some of the skills were mastered with ease, while others have been more difficult. If you see my children wearing the same clothing a couple times in a short period of time you will see which task they dislike the most. The goal of teaching these skills was not to have me do less. (an added bonus for sure) The goal was teaching my daughters to be proud of themselves and to take pride in knowing they can be self reliant.

"A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self." Charles Dickens

In teaching my girls independence I wanted to be sure they did not become too self-focused. While it is important they do for themselves, it is essential they care for one another and others as well. They became frustrated and even angry at times with trying new skills and with finding another family member in their path of learning. It was little things like moving someones laundry to the dryer when you need to put your clothes in the washer or getting someone a drink of water when you are getting yourself one that are challenging processes to learn. I often tell parents my "oxygen mask theory" is essential in maintaining family balance. When you ride on any major airline they inform you to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting those around you. This is to ensure that you do not loose your oxygen supply before you are done caring for others. I want my girls to understand and practice using this theory. The great thing about this theory is that in taking care of yourself, you are better equipped then to care for others.

I recently read a quote that really spoke to me as a parent and motivated me to be for thoughtful in my parenting and less reactive. The quote read, "I didn't grow up, I was raised". I do not want my children to just mature and go through the steps of life. I want to raise them! I want to look back on their childhood and think that I shared with them the messages and lessons I value in a person. Step one was self sufficiency and we have one week to go in my plan. Step two is hard work! I want my children to understand and respect the value of hard work.

Share your thoughts with me. Justin and I are still developing our timeline and plan for raising children who value hard work and are self sufficient.